Tiger Woods' father uses golf as metaphor for
life in book
By Leslie Barker
The Dallas Morning News
(KRT)
DALLAS - If you merely look at the pictures, the book's about
teaching your kids to play golf. Read between the lines, however,
and the game becomes a metaphor for life.
"I was thinking of this as a book about life," says
Earl Woods, whose recently released Training a Tiger (HarperCollins;
$18) combines parenting tips, golf techniques and a biography
of him and his Masters-winning son, Tiger Woods.
"Golf is secondary. The most important thing is to make
the kid a better person, the parent a better parent and the relationship
between them better. That's the way you improve neighborhoods,
states, nations and the world."
Wow. Heavy stuff. But to hear Mr. Woods preach its power, to
watch him and his son embrace in bear hugs, you can't help but
believe in the possibilities of a parent-child bond.
And while you know Mr. Woods' heart bursts when he sees his
son's success in golf, it's almost more heartening to hear what
he says next: that his son is a better person than a golfer. That
Tiger wants the Tiger Woods Foundation to introduce inner-city
kids to golf. Not to make them professionals, but to make them
better people.
"None of this is about money," Mr. Woods says.cc,12p4xr
"It's not about prestige. It's about being the best you can
be. In my case, being the best person. In his case, being the
best golfer. The two mesh. You think he's a good golfer? Be around
him. He's indeed a better person."
One reason: golf, Tiger's dad believes.
"It teaches you every dadgum thing," he says.
For instance:
-Playing by the rules. Even though golf has no umpires or referees,
people don't cheat, he says. "If kids learn to play by the
rules of golf, they learn to live by laws of society ... now you
have a law-abiding citizen instead of a hoodlum."
-Accepting responsibility. At age 1, Tiger learned this, Mr.
Woods says. The toddler hit a bad shot and banged his club on
the ground. Dad asked who was responsible: the bird in the tree?
The club? The wind?
"No," Tiger answered.
Then who?
"Me," said the little boy in diapers.
-Learning to handle success and failure. "You go out and
hit a beautiful drive on the first tee," Mr. Woods says.
"Instead of hollering and telling the whole world, you stick
out your chest with pride ... and handle it. But conversely, if
you snap hook your drive ... you have to handle that lack of success,
too. There's always room to go on."
Before his first game of golf at age 42, Mr. Woods' sports
love was baseball. He played for Kansas State University and then,
briefly, semipro ball. He joined the U.S. Army and served two
hitches in Vietnam as a Green Beret. There he fought side-by-side
with a Vietnamese officer he nicknamed Tiger - the moniker he
would later give his son.
During an information assignment to Bangkok, he met a Thai
woman named Kultida; she would later become his wife. He had been
married before and had three children, and he was not eager to
embark on a new relationship. But, he writes, "my heart guided
me."
"I was given a second chance not only at happiness but
also ... at parenting," he writes. "In retrospect, all
of my experiences must have been ... God's way of preparing me
to handle the mission of guiding this young man that was coming.
"Even the fact that I had three children was like him
saying, 'I'll give him a trial run. Let him have some children
and see how he handles it, but he's got to be able to do everything.
I want him to know how difficult it is because I want the best
for Tiger.' "
For Tiger, he has given everything. His time, his savings,
his own passion for golf - realized when a fellow Army officer
invited him to play. He then vowed that if he had another child,
he would expose that son or daughter to the game at a young age.
Together, he and his wife, who goes by the name Tida, decided
Tiger would be the first priority in their relationship, and that
she would stay home to raise him. It was Tiger's mom who emphasized
school over golf, who insisted he complete his homework before
practicing his swing or playing in a tournament.
Every year near his birthday, Tiger accompanies his mother
to a Buddhist temple. There, he makes a gift of rice, sugar and
salt to the monks. From her, he has learned a religion based on
discipline and respect and personal responsibility, he told Sports
Illustrated.
"I like Asian culture better than ours because of that,"
he said. "Asians are much more disciplined than we are. Look
how well behaved their children are. It's how my mother raised
me."
Of his wife, Earl Woods has said: "Tida was meant to bring
in the influence of the Orient, to introduce Tiger to Buddhism
and inner peace, so he would have the best of two different worlds.
And so he would have the knowledge that there were two people
whose lives were totally committed to him."
Thirty years have passed since the two met. Mr. Woods is 64
now. Beneath his shirt buttons, his chest bears the scars of two
heart surgeries. From his New York City hotel room, his voice
sounds soft, determined and more than a little tired - and his
10-city book tour is just beginning. He doesn't profess to feel
fine - just "hanging in there."
But Lord willing and the creek don't rise - to use his words
- he'll complete the tour. He has a mission: to share with anyone
who will listen what he's learned with and taught Tiger. And ever
since Tiger's appearance on the TV show That's Incredible at age
5, parents have wanted to know the secret to the young golfer's
success.
Earl Woods tells them that he's no expert, but what he advocates
works. A lot of it is basic: Tell kids you love them. Laugh and
cry with your child. Be selfless, responsible and put the child
first.
"You get down on that level and earn their trust and respect,"
Mr. Woods says. "When you do that, miracles occur. How hard
it is depends on you and your sincerity, your openness, how much
you put into it."
Mr. Woods started early. He would talk to Tiger as the infant
lay in his crib, repeating parental endearments: "Daddy loves
you. I am here for you. I want you to be happy."
When Tiger slept, writes Mr. Woods, "I would go to his
crib and touch his cheek, and he would smile. He knew it was me.
He will know it for the rest of his life."
The two have always been friends, Mr. Woods says. Sure, they
played golf together. But they also talked. And as the years passed,
theirs became "a relationship any human being would want,"
Mr. Woods says.
"Tiger knew this. He'd come in and want to talk, no matter
when or where. Automatically everything stopped until we talked."
Tiger would lie on the floor, his dad on the bed. Maybe they
wouldn't even look at each other. They'd just talk. Tiger's mom
would knock on the door and say, "Tiger, it's 9 o'clock and
time for bed." Tiger would say, "I'm talking to Dad."
And bedtime would be postponed until the conversation ended.
Tiger, now 21, has moved to Florida, nearly a continent away
from his parents' California home. Mr. Woods no longer feels the
need to attend all of Tiger's tournaments. But he'll always worry
about his son's security; Tiger received his first death threat
at age 15 and continues to get them.
Father and son may only talk once a week, but they remain close.
And when they get together, for old times' sake, they still play
a round a golf.
"He's way past me now," Mr. Woods says. "It's
a harassment. It's competitive. But it's always fun. That's what
I've always insisted on - that the whole experience be fun. It
isn't about winning ... as far as I'm concerned, you win when
you become a better person."
BOOK SIGNING:
Earl Woods will sign copies of Training a Tiger at 7:30 p.m.
Thursday at Barnes & Noble at 14999 Preston Road in Dallas.
(c) 1997, The Dallas Morning News.
Visit The Dallas Morning News on the World Wide Web at http://www.dallasnews.com/
Distributed by Knight-Ridder/Tribune Information Services.
|
