Saturday, July 8, 2000
Another fad: How to improve
golf game without really trying
By Rick Morrissey
Chicago Tribune
(KRT)
CHICAGO - I've decided that the same people
who believe they can lose three to five pounds a night while they
sleep are the same people who believe they can add 15 yards to
their drives without actually working for it.
A lot of them were out Friday at the Advil
Western Open, worshiping at the altar of Tiger Woods and following
his bouncing ball. There they were, many of them men, wondering
just how much distance the latest in Nike dimples would add to
their game. I would tell them that the difference is negligible,
but I don't want them to get their Sansabelts in a bunch.
Woods hits a 7-iron 190 yards because he's
a giant catapult dressed as a golfer. But as surely as Jesper
Parnevik will be wearing a long-sleeved chartreuse shirt someday
soon, a good number of local hackers will be considering a change
to the Nike ball next week.
They might find themselves a little conflicted.
Across the pond, Colin Montgomerie laid
down the gauntlet at the European Open on Thursday, saying the
new Callaway golf ball had added 20 yards to his average drive.
To desperate golfers (a redundancy), this was something like Alan
Greenspan reaching for a Coke can when a Pepsi was right there
in front of him. Buy Coca-Cola stock!
Oh, Montgomerie's words must have been a
sweet sound that reached the ears of many a golfer in the States,
where chicks dig the long ball and some men apparently have some
compensation issues.
Montgomerie shot 67 on Thursday, and this
is what the Irish Times newspaper had to say about it the next
day, picked up by the Associated Press: "During his time
off, the burly Scot was experimenting with the new Callaway ball,
which he has signed up to use from the start of July. He maintained,
`Getting the right combination with this ball, I'm getting another
20 yards.''"
Twenty more yards? What's inside it, andro?
In another surprising development, the burly
Scot said he has an endorsement deal with Callaway.
"That's advertising," said Bill
Glasson, a Titleist man who is 6-under at the Western. "He's
supposed to say that. That's why Callaway pays him."
Stephen Ames shot 63 on Friday at Cog Hill,
tying the course record. Before that, his biggest claim to fame
was being the only PGA Tour player from Trinidad and Tobago, which
are 20 miles apart, though reachable in two for Woods. It probably
wouldn't have mattered if Ames had used a stick and a rock Friday,
he was so hot.
"Stephen," I said, pretending
that I had heard of him, "can a golf ball make that big a
difference?"
"To be able to keep up with Tiger,
we have to keep looking for things," Ames said. "But
you can only go so far. You want to have something that's going
to give you distance, but at the same time you're not going to
lose the same feel and softness you had around the greens."
And what ball does Ames use?
"When I tested the Titleist, the Nike
and the Callaway ball at the Callaway center at the beginning
of the year, it was a phenomenal difference," he said. "There's
no comparison between what I was doing on the par-5s last year
and what I'm doing this year. It was like, `Wow.' Couldn't believe
the difference in the Callaway ball."
What is this, an infomercial?
Callaway said it built a new facility just
to develop the new ball. What it didn't say was that it built
two other facilities just to hold all the profits made off hopeless
golfers (a redundancy) looking for the one magical elixir.
Callaway calls its new product the "Rule
35" golf ball. I went to the golf rule book and found 35.
I'm paraphrasing here, but what it basically says is, "Golfers
are idiots."
But we shouldn't feel bad about that. Pro
golfers are just as susceptible to the new-and-improved, next
final answer to all their problems, whether it be a new driver
or a new putting grip.
"I'm more suckered in by somebody who
says they know everything about putting," Glasson said. "That's
my weakness. We're all looking for that little extra to compete
with Tiger.
"At Tucson this year, I was putting
badly. A guy left a note in my locker saying he was a great putting
teacher. I called the guy, and it ruined me for the week."
I told Glasson that I was considering a
career change to putting guru.
"When can I call you?" he said.
(c) 2000, Chicago Tribune.
Visit the Chicago Tribune on the Internet at http://www.chicago.tribune.com/
Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.
Start or Join A Discussion about This Story
Send the URL (Address)
of This Story to A Friend:
|
