Fuzzy Zoeller, Tiger Woods achieve peace in
our time
By Larry Guest
Orlando Sentinel
(KRT)
FORT WORTH, Texas - As heralded international peace summits
go, the Tiger-Fuzzy Talks turned up rather brief in duration.
Official summit timekeepers clocked it at a mere 12 minutes needed
by the two highly visible principals to defuse what had become
the latest world crisis.
This should provide irrefutable evidence that golfers can iron
out sticky matters in a fraction of the time required by heads
of state and other exalted brief cases. Perhaps on the occasion
of the next border war between two fractious republics, we should
chain our diplomats to a lamppost and send in Fuzzy Zoeller and
Tiger Woods to do the job.
Those two certainly resolved Fuzzygate in short order, emerging
to declare all was right with the golf world again. I have it
on good authority this beats the previous record for summit brevity
by a good 30 hours. Otherwise, Tuesday's much-anticipated Tiger-Fuzzy
Talks bore most of the usual trappings of any self-respecting
summit.
Minicam crews were everywhere, capturing insightful sound bites
from everyone from nacho vendors to gardeners. Radio commentators
spat out breathless updates. Print reporters shook hangovers while
exchanging barbs about indicted broadcasters. Dozens of photographers
snapped relentlessly. A harmonious thicket of satellite trucks
hummed in the parking lot.
All that was missing was Sam Donaldson's eyebrows and Wolf
Blitzer reporting from the Colonial Country Club rooftop.
Overdue closure on this one came so swiftly - and predictably
- when Tiger and Fuzzy emerged from the closed-door session smiling
and rapping about marlin fishing. (Billfishing diplomacy?) Then,
in separate briefings to the mass of foreign correspondents, they
announced the brouhaha over Zoeller's racially insensitive quips
at last month's Masters had been put to rest.
"I hope so," said Zoeller. "That's what I've
hoped for the past three weeks -to move forward. I did do apologies.
I asked him how his father was (Earl Woods is recovering from
heart surgery), and told him I appreciated all the kind words
Earl said over the past couple of weeks.
"Tiger is a good guy. We're both good people. He's very
talented, good for the tour. Now our job as professionals is to
turn this negative thing into something positive. We have a great
opportunity - as Tig and I talked about in there - to make something
very positive out of this.
"The only thing that upset me," he added with a wink,
"is I had had to buy his lunch." (Warning! Warning!
Fuzzy was joking. Repeat: Fuzzy Zoeller was joking about buying
Tiger's lunch, and it didn't really happen.)
Technically, they didn't really share lunch. Fuzzy already
had eaten in the players' dining room when Tiger arrived for the
tour-arranged summit. The gifted Orlando resident stabbed a chicken
breast parmigiana off the buffet, and the two retreated to an
adjacent room for the pivotal power lunch.
An hour later, in a formal media conference, Woods characterized
the session as "a nice conversation. I found out something
I needed to know. Now I understand where he was coming from. It's
resolved."
As to why he had not returned phone calls from Zoeller, who
had been trying to personally apologize to Tiger for the past
tumultuous month - a sticking point to many tour pros - Woods
weakly reasoned he had received "only two messages"
and knew they would eventually be face-to-face.
Did other players express resentment for that? "I wouldn't
say, 'resentment.' They just questioned it," he said.
But there was no mistaking the pros' stance toward Fuzzy on
his first day back on tour. One by one, black and white, in words
and gestures, they expressed their sorrow for the "racist"
accusations brought on by his gaffe. The most poignant came just
past dawn when Keith Clearwater happened upon Zoeller in the locker
room. Clearwater, like Fuzzy a past Colonial champ, strode forward,
purposefully, saying: "You have taken so much crap I can't
believe, and you're the very last guy that should happen to!"
He embraced Zoeller tightly, blurting, "I love you, Fuzz!"
Fuzzy and Tiger mainly love the light they now see at the end
of this tunnel. Zoeller invoked a comment by the charismatic late
basketball coach Jim Valvano. "Jim said, 'If you think, you
laugh and you cry all in one day, you've had a hell of a day.'
Well, in these past weeks," Zoeller added through a wistful
smile, "I've had one every damned day."
(Larry Guest is a sports columnist for the Orlando Sentinel.
Write to him at: Orlando Sentinel, 633 North Orange Avenue, Orlando,
Fla. 32801)
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