Wednesday, October 25, 2000
Tiger, show us you're human, too
By Juliet Macur
The Orlando Sentinel
(KRT)
LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. —The room was packed a good half-hour
before the headliner showed, with people jockeying for seats to
get a clear view.
When the star finally arrived, there was a hush.
“There he is,” whispered one man. “Ooooh, he's
here. He's here.”
It could have been the Pope. Dan Marino. Or Cameron Diaz's boyfriend,
ready to dish all the dirty details.
But Tiger Woods, some say, is most noteworthy of all.
Tiger Woods for President! Tiger Woods, we love you! Tiger, Tiger,
Tiger!
When will this end, this Tiger Mania? It must end sometime. The
Beatles broke up. Michael Jordan retired. Seinfeld went to sitcom
heaven. Volkswagen stopped making the Karmann Ghia.
Alas, all good things must come to an end. But how long can Woods
last?
How long can he continue to mesmerize kids who dream big, sports
fans craving perfection, and 80-year-old golfers wearing plaid
pants and pink Polos?
For a long time, it seems. The way it looks now, Woods will be
collecting Social Security (if there is any left, not that he'd
need it) by the time he becomes consistently beatable.
For now, he is an icon. Ho-hum for him.
Stargazers were woozy with excitement Tuesday when Woods walked
into the news conference at Walt Disney World. He considered it
as thrilling as walking into his kitchen for a glass of water.
“Oh, time for questions?” you could imagine he was thinking.
“Ah, yes, I've been interviewed a few times before.”
Yep, a billion times this year alone. To name a few, he was interviewed
after he won the U.S. Open, the British Open and the PGA Championship.
Now, he's out to win his 10th tour event of the year, the National
Car Rental Golf Classic at Walt Disney World Resort—the event
with the unnecessarily long name. Let's just shorten it to “Tiger's
next win.”
He certainly thinks it's possible.
Question from reporter: Did you ever think that 10 wins a season
was reachable?
Answer from Tiger, sounding bored: Mm-hmmm.
Geez, the last time someone won 10 tour events in a season was
Sam Snead in 1950. For goodness sake, that's even before the last
Subway Series. But Woods isn't bowled over by history. He's too
busy rewriting it.
And it's incredible to watch, though from time to time, you'd
love for him to show he's not perfect.
Let's see it, Tiger. Trip over yourself. Get tongue-tied. Say
something stupid. Sneeze all over your nice Nike shirt.
Don't make the rest of us look so bad, would you?
But, sadly enough, the rest of us will always be peons compared
to Woods—even after his golf career is done.
If Tiger became a pro fisherman, he'd land the biggest bass. If
he became a runway model, even Kate Moss would fear for her job.
If he became a chef, Emeril would be humiliated.
Heck, even if Tiger just played hopscotch in his neighborhood
— a fancy-pants form of hopscotch, for sure, in ritzy Isleworth—somehow
he'd find a way to become champion of the world.
So, no matter where he goes or what he does, we may just be stuck
with Tiger Woods.
He'll be making us look bad forever.
(c) 2000, The Orlando Sentinel (Fla.).
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Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.
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