Tiger Woods, Fuzzy Zoeller do have more than
golf in common
By Frank Luksa / The Dallas Morning News
AUGUSTA, Ga. -- Counting those already seated, the crowd ringing
the first tee Friday at the Masters ranged from 15 to 20 deep.
Curious fans gathered to see Tiger Woods and Fuzzy Zoeller play
together ... and what else they might do to each other.
And, so, curiosity reigned in place of common sense.
What were Woods and Zoeller expected to do? Fence with one-irons,
exchange glares or arm wrestle? Maybe go the other way and embrace,
wave identical white flags of surrender or loose a cage of pigeons
to signify peaceful intent?
Instead, Woods and Zoeller shared a pre-round ritual that some
players observe and others don't. They shook hands, then they
hit away in the company of Colin Montgomerie to begin play in
the second round.
So much for the absence of evident tension or continuation
of the dust-up between Fuzzy and Tiger that erupted a year ago
at Augusta National. If they aren't the best of chums now, it
hasn't altered their relationship. They weren't huge pals 12 months
ago, either.
Had Fuzzy known Tiger better, he wouldn't have made the insensitive
remark about the Champions Dinner menu. Much too late, he knows
better than to say he hoped Woods wouldn't order "fried chicken
and collard greens or whatever it is they serve."
Zoeller immediately joined a roster of undistinguished social
commentators originally headed by Al Campanis and Jimmy "The
Greek" Snyder. The list since has been rearranged to allow
Reggie White of the Green Bay Packers to head it. Fuzzy's thought
offended only black people. White virtually offended the world
population.
The Zoeller-Woods flap has lingered as a simmering issue despite
attempts by both parties to put it aside. But the thing keeps
flaring up here and there and won't go away -- perhaps because
media noses keep sniffing smoke and believe fire still exists
between them. And also because other pros have given off-the-record
testimony of carry-over resentment toward Woods for the way he
handled Zoeller's apology.
Which was to delay four days before replying -- leaving Fuzzy
to twist awkwardly with his new-found persona of a bigot.
The story should have ended there with apology made and accepted.
Or at the Colonial National in Fort Worth last year where Woods
and Zoeller met personally for the first time since the Masters
and supposedly settled matters. But there followed an incident
at the U.S. Open to indicate otherwise.
John Daly asked Woods to join him in a practice round. Upon
learning that Zoeller would be included in the group, Tiger declined.
Perhaps this was what Scott Hoch had in mind when he saw Woods
and Zoeller with their backs toward each other on the putting
green before they teed off Friday. "Who's gonna referee today?"
Hoch exclaimed.
Of course, nothing untoward passed between Tiger and Fuzzy
as they toured Augusta National. They played to individual style.
Zoeller is loose-limbed, a chatterbox when he isn't whistling.
Woods appears taut and grim-faced serious by comparison -- unless
he's making birdie or eagle.
Woods isn't much of a talker while at work. Most golfers tend
to be on the mute side to maintain a high level of concentration.
Ben Hogan seldom said a word.
There's a famous Masters anecdote of an occasion when Hogan
did speak. It came after partner Claude Harmon shot a hole-in-one
at the treacherous par-three 12th while Hogan scored a birdie.
As they left the green, Hogan put an arm on Harmon's shoulder
and said: "You know, Claude, that's the first time I ever
birdied that hole."
Tiger's self-absorption runs to that pattern, so how often
he exchanged small talk with Zoeller was of scant import. Zoeller
felt the issue of playing with Tiger much overdrawn after he completed
his two-over round of 74.
"You all make a big deal out of it," he said. "I
don't think it's a big deal. He (Woods) is a person like everyone
else."
That wasn't enlightening, but Fuzzy isn't talking much this
week. A character who usually does a 30-minute stand-up when a
refrigerator light comes on has turned mute.
"I'm not here to talk. I'm here to play golf," Zoeller
said after Thursday's round when he declined an invitation to
appear in the press room and retired to the security of the off-limits
champions' locker room.
Tiger was more forthcoming about his relationship with Zoeller
after the round: "It's over for me, but the press wants to
keep talking about it. No offense, but I think it's in your ballpark,
your control. Fuzzy and I buried it a long time ago."
Woods had faced the question of playing a practice round with
Zoeller at the Masters two weeks ago during The Players Championship.
Tiger said he wouldn't mind.
"I know I'm going to do my best to get ready for the major.
It would be a public-relations thing more than it would be getting
ready for a major," he said.
"But if he wants to get ready for a major with me and
that's it, that is fine. I don't have a problem with that."
Daly, a close ally of Zoeller's, suggested the two get together
to end the perceived smolder between them:
"I think the best move would be for Tiger and him to play
a practice round at Augusta just to get it over with. You feel
those two need to play some practice rounds or something because
it's crazy how this thing has gotten out of hand."
So it has, and for too long. Tiger is rightfully tired of questions
about Fuzzy. Fuzzy has turned on the media, blaming it for circulating
his Masters remark with a negative slant. Worse, in an interview
at the TPC, Zoeller said he still didn't think what he said was
wrong.
Besides, Tiger skated without undue personal harm after he
was quoted telling racially insensitive jokes in a "Gentlemen's
Quarterly" article.
Based on their respective backgrounds for bad taste, Woods
and Zoeller deserved to play together.
---
(c) 1998, The Dallas Morning News.
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